Anxiety as a Signal for Help
How often do we hear someone say, “I feel stressed”? How often do so many of us feel not just stressed but anxious? There are so many uncertainties that people experience, whether in a professional or personal life, that it is no wonder that people experience some form of stress or anxiety. And life itself has uncertainty about it, as we drive a car, walk down the road, go to bed at night. There are those who feel these uncertainties so deeply that never seem to stop feeling anxious. I read one author who said, “anxiety is the emotional disorder of our time.” “Anxiety robs us of our peace”.
But here is where anxiety may be a source of help to us. Anxiety may be a signal that it is time to focus on what is important in one’s life, whether it be one’s personal goals, professional life, family, or one’s faith. Anxiety is a common human experience. Anxiety can have different triggers for different people. But at its root anxiety, as the Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling defines it, “signals the threat of a fundamental loss or separation.”
When someone first feels anxiety they can become anxious about feeling anxious; they may even become scared or obsess about the causes of the anxiety and how to relieve it. Such a person is not able to see the healthy and helpful aspect of anxiety; anxiety is a clue to pay attention to one’s self differently than one has. Anxiety is a signal to not only study one’s life carefully to understand it but also to learn skills to manage it so that it does not take over and become out of control.
Normal anxiety is the kind of anxiety, which naturally accompanies the freedom and possibility present in life. Anxiety is present in our natural vulnerability to nature, sickness and death. Another form of anxiety is a part of the isolation and alienation from others that one can feel; it urges that person to seek relationship and communion with others.
Abnormal anxiety is a disproportionate reaction to a perceived threat. Abnormal anxiety occurs when one is not able to deal with anxious feelings as they arise. Abnormal anxiety occurs when one uses a variety of ways to deny those feelings or happenings that can and do stir up anxiety.
There are other ways in which a person can notice anxiety. If one is unsure of who one is or what one does one can be anxious. When one in middle age realizes that life will not go on forever one can feel anxious. One can be anxious about a certain event, or place, or have a very strong anxious feeling about something, such as flying; that is a phobia. In any of these situations the challenge for the person experiencing the anxiety is whether he/she will see it as a signal to respond to or something dangerous or scary to avoid.
The faith of a person and one’s entire spiritual orientation are key allies in the coping with, understanding of, and the management of anxiety. Dealing with anxiety may also include other or additional helping resources. One may need the aid and skill of a pastoral psychotherapist, who can help one integrate one’s religious resources with one’s emotional and psychological strengths. Another mental health professional of one’s choosing can be helpful. Severe circumstances may require a medication evaluation. An anxiety management program, such as I offer at Samaritan, can be a useful first step to get a handle on how to turn anxiety from a terror into a friend.
But the resources of one’s beliefs about life, one’s faith in God, is key to the anxiety with which one lives. A strong faith shores up one’s sense of courage, hope, and trust in the goodness of self and of life. Spirituality is not a gimmick simply to control anxiety. Rather growing spiritually has the effect to strengthen one’s relationship with God. In the affirmation of the holiness and sacredness of life one can find inner strength and the assurance of relationship. Peace of mind comes from feeling secure in your relationship to God. When one does not feel alone or abandoned one does not feel stuck. As a created being you can remind yourself or your innate acceptance as part of God’s creation. The resource of religious faith can restore one’s sense of knowing that life has uncertainties that can be dealt with. In your church, or religious community, you have a living reminder and experience of people like yourself who struggle with the same issues; you can rely not only on each other but also on the faith which you all share.
Anxiety finally communicates to us that there is part of ourselves, which we need to know better. Just as Jacob wrestled with an angel and came away not only wounded but with a new identity coming to know one’s anxiety and what is signaling can be painful. But it is also the path to a more deeply fulfilling and more deeply religiously and spiritually meaningful life.
Dr. Paul Melrose
