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The online encyclopedia, Wikipedia, tells us that addiction is a compulsion to
repeat a behavior regardless of its consequences. A person who is addicted is
sometimes called an addict. There is a lack of consensus as to what may properly
be termed 'addiction.'
However, addiction is often applied to compulsive behaviors other than drug use,
such as overeating or gambling. In all cases, the term addiction describes a
chronic pattern of behavior that continues despite the direct or indirect
adverse consequences that result from engaging in the behavior. It is quite
common for an addict to express the desire to stop the behavior, but find
himself or herself unable to cease.
Addiction is often characterized by a craving for more of the drug or behavior,
increased physiological tolerance to exposure, and withdrawal symptoms in the
absence of the stimulus. Many drugs and behaviors that provide either pleasure
or relief from pain pose a risk of addiction or dependency.
Early psychoanalytic theory might suggest that people with compulsions or
addiction are feeling empty and need to be filled up. That approach might help
us understand the need to do something, like drink or gamble, or have a
compulsion to spend, work, exercise. If one is feeling empty inside that could
do with a number of things; having a physical dependency; a disease; having a
genetic pre disposition; seeing something culturally reinforced; making poor
choices. Our president has warned us that as a society we are “addicted” to
petroleum. I use that as an example of what might be a need to fill us up so
that I can do what I want to do, now, to feel better. When we don’t have gas, we
cannot use the car, and that might prevent us from fulfilling many needs or
desires. But there are many examples of this need to “fill me up”, or a craving,
or satisfying an immediate need, which we are learning can to psychological,
emotional, physical, financial harm to self and others. Internet addiction,
whether simply to use the computer, or use it to find a social or sexual
relationship, can hold one together when they have no social contact, but at the
same time can isolate one from the world and relationships. A lot of what might
be called an addiction can only be what is in the eye of the one behaving in
this way, struggling with the substance or in the eye of the beholder, what your
friend or spouse or child sees you doing. Of course, the one behaving is often
in denial that his/her behavior may be having negative consequences for
him/herself or the ones around him/her.
This urge or compulsion to make myself feel better now is from the point of view
of many, layperson and professional, a serious problem. While our faith
traditions and psychology support the need for healthy and happy people the way
to happiness does not seem to be just to satisfy my happiness here and now. What
is missing it seems are two things: some criteria to make healthy or good
choices for a person, and an agreed set of boundaries for a person to live
within. In our society our laws provide the most basic set. But our lifestyles,
our family culture, or even the kind of narcissistic need which puts me first
and that’s it, work against some kind of moderation.
One must look into one self to determine when this much is too much. What is it
that causes this behavior? In many cases lack of a relationship to self, to
others, to God, will create the sense of low self esteem, pain from depression,
or anxiety or failure, and many other things which will create and emotional,
spiritual and psychological sense of pain which needs immediate relief. This can
be one powerful way to understand how many addictions and compulsions either
come about, are strengthened, or continue. There are two responses that do not
work; simply to choose to behave in a way that continues the behavior or
addiction that masks the pain, or to blame my past, or society, or someone or
thing outside yourself that this is why you feel this way. Look for the
professional assistance, the friendships, the activities, the spiritual or
religious faith that will speak to you to keep you from not helping yourself but
hurting yourself, such that you too remain either addicted, behaving
compulsively, and therefore continue to feel empty and be unhappy.
Dr. Paul Melrose is the Director of Clinical Services, and the newly Appointed
Executive Director, of the Samaritan Counseling Center. He can be reached at
www.paulmelrose.com, or through 248-474-4701. The Staff of the Samaritan
Counseling Center can be reached at
www.samaritancounslelingmichigan.com
or
through 248-474-4701.
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