Two weeks ago someone I did consider my neighbor died. Mr. Rogers came into our home when our children were one and three. He remained an infrequent but always comforting visitor up until he died. In some ways, as a pastor and a pastoral psychotherapist I can see that friend was for me a spiritual and clinical mentor. The ideas that he shared with children are ideas which people come to a therapist and pastor seeking some help with.

First off Mr. Rogers always told kids that they were special. Each one of you, he would say, not because of what you are on the outside, but who you are on the inside. The circumstances in which you grow up have nothing to do with whom you are inside. So, when a viewer reflected on being with Mr. Rogers he said that when he has been physically and sexually abused he retreated to a closet. There, in that closet, was a TV. In that closet how much it meant to see Mr. Rogers on TV telling him that you are special, because it is who you are on the inside that counts.

Mr. Rogers told kids that they should love themselves and love their neighbors. As a Presbyterian minister he can taken both Hebrew Scripture and Christian Scripture and put it out there for all kids. Love yourself because you are special and give the gift of that love to your neighbor. Is that just make believe or can it happen? The trips on the trolley from his living room to the Land of Make Believe makes me think that Mr. Rogers thought that that kind of love was possible.

He helped parents to get a handle on how they could help kids with their feeling good about themselves. Kids mimic their parents, he always said. So, take responsibility to give your kids the kind of life that you want for them. That is hard work. That means we may have to think a little more about what we do or what we say. But that is how Mr. Rogers started his TV ministry, as it really was. He once, as a young man, saw a kids show where kids were throwing pies at each other and doing a lot of slapstick. He was offended that kids could be treated with such disrespect, though pretty mild by today’s standards. So, he set about his “Call” to show kids and kids of all ages a place where respect was the way people treated each other. For respect not only helps one to feel loved, but also helps one to feel special, and valued for just who they are.

Mr. Rogers gave me some simple words and explanations for life and the way people grow and change, which I find myself sharing with the people who I see professionally. I hope that you may find these ideas a support to you in your own specialness as you treat yourself with love and respect and give those gifts to those whom you love. But Mr. Rogers went one step further. To him the neighborhood had no geographic limit, no limit of any kind. So through even your prayers and your public actions and behaviors he would like you to share those gifts of respect and love for all of your neighbors, regardless of their condition of life and regardless of whether they are near or far. 

Paul J. Melrose is Staff Therapist at the Samaritan Counseling Center of Southeastern Michigan, Farmington Hills and Birmingham. He can be reached at (248) 474-4701 or through this link.

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