NOVEMBER: The Month of Gratitude
When we approach November we often think of the Thanksgiving holiday. Thinking about that holiday often engenders some thoughts about gratitude. Our pastoral counseling colleagues at the Samaritan Counseling Center of the Capital Region in the Albany area of New York had one of their staff reflects on Gratitude.
What Richard Osborne says is that every day we are confronted with choices about how we view life; we consider what we focus on and what see and experience. We all know individual who, no matter how fortunate, seem to focus on the negative. They are quick to feel disappointed and to devalue what they have. Such chronic negativism may stem from earlier hurts and disappointments and may become a defense for avoiding further letdown. For such people, hope may seem too big a risk. And yet, there is the danger that such negativism will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Direct your energies, then to cultivating an attitude of gratitude. This involves making a conscious choice about your basic orientation; you must choose life and each other. As Dr. Osborne says “Life is not a matter of what is handed to us but of what we actively find through our won seeking. This takes courage and imagination.”
To cultivate this attitude there are some things which one can do. These steps will take whatever our basic orientation is and strengthen it. Effort and discipline help to strengthen the attitude of gratitude.
Make a “gratitude list” of what you are grateful for. Don’t include just the obvious, friends, family country. Think of those other things for which you are grateful, such as cooling breezes, a wonderful coffee, a picturesque winter morning etc.
If you have a discipline of prayer, meditation, religious ceremonies use these avenues as times to be thankful, to further reflect on gratitude, to see what is good in your life and in the lives of others.
Be sure to share what you are grateful for. For some this may be done through a time of prayer at a meal. Or have your family and guests, if present, share what they are grateful for.
When there is a crisis or some difficult time look carefully; you will find something good in it and through it. It may be the caring of others or the help you receive, but there is something about which gratitude can be expressed.
Remember that our happiness is not tied to possessions. We don’t need the most to feel grateful.
Don’t forget birthdays, the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas, or other special celebrations as opportunities to share important times with special people. Finally as Dr. Osborne sums this up, “Aside from these specific suggestions, parents can help cultivate gratitude in children by modeling an attitude of enthusiasm and appreciation for life – its constant opportunities for growth and service, as well as its beauty and simple pleasures – through their daily words and actions.”
Dr. Paul Melrose
