Seeking Mental Health Assistance |
When I think of asking for help I might think of asking a
colleague for advice on a project. I might think of asking my wife something
about a home project or a gift for our kids. I might ask my son how his work is
going. I might ask a friend for help with a piece of equipment of some kind. I
ask the mechanic for help. I ask the dentist for help with my teeth. I ask my
medical doctor all sorts of questions. I might even ask my pastor for a
spiritual resource or for direction for a project I am doing for our church. I
might ask my pastor for some counsel if I am depressed. But if that feeling gets
too bad would I take this and other feelings, such as when I am feeling
stressed, anxious, confused, to a counselor or therapist for assistance?
The general answer is still “probably not”. There still exists a bias, a stigma,
against seeking mental health assistance. One part of an older way of thinking
about mental health assistance was that it was a sign of moral weakness. Some
felt that those suffering from demons displeased God. Their life was not morally
pure by some objective standard. Another source of discouragement for seeking
mental health assistance comes still from a point of view that suggests a
weakness of personality and personal strength. This is something I should be
able to handle myself. And if I admit to struggling with some overwhelming
feelings of a sense of depression I would not dare admit that for fear of
alienating my friends and family. An awareness of a mental or substance abuse
problem in one’s family is cause for scorn and ridicule or some kind of
condescending sympathy from others.
It is sad that these attitudes still exist when we are living in the worst
economic crisis to hit the world community, some have said since the Great
Depression. The economic crisis generates an anxiety that surrounds us. Who does
not know someone not effected by this situation with either a job loss, a
reduction of hours or wages or benefits, extended time on the unemployment line,
or even more pervasive the fear or sense of impending doom: when will any of
these matters happen to me? How long is my job good for? Will the bank call in
my mortgage or home equity loan? I am already trying to put food on the table
with my 3 part time jobs; now I have lost one because the store closed. And with
all of these fears benefits, particularly health benefits are disappearing.
There is little or no discretionary cash to think of mental health care as an
aid to help to cope with the fear, depression, stress and anxiety that is
tearing me, my family, my community apart.
Please think twice. Your mental health is crucial to helping you to cope. Your
mental health is crucial to helping you to make wise decisions. Your mental
health is both a driver of and responder to other health conditions you may be
struggling with. So, some thoughts. At the minimum find friends, family members,
with whom you can be honest about what this time is doing to you. Seek out a
support group of people in a similar condition, such as others who have lost
jobs, while at the same time look for help on specific tasks, such as resume
writing, financial advising, interview practicing. Find a good book on dealing
with your feelings. Your religious leaders, pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, is
there for you. In your free time volunteer to help in some program or project.
Do not discount the services of a mental health professional. Seek out people
you may have heard speak or give a seminar. Check professional listings for
credentials. Many mental health professionals, such as we at Samaritan, work on
an adjusted fee basis. Even one or two visits to a professional can be of much
benefit. Now is not the time to ignore you as a thinking, feeling, caring
person. Without these qualities in tact you will severely limit your ability to
cope and not be there for yourself and those who not only care about you but
also need you in their lives. Let’s all help each other. We will make it
through.
Dr. Paul Melrose is Executive Director of the Samaritan Counseling Center of SE
Michigan. He can be reached at www.paulmelrose.com,
www.samaritancounselingmichigan.com, or through 248-474-4701. The staff of the
center can be reached through
www.samaritancounselingmichigan.com or
248-474-4701.